Hero or Dick
Welcome to Hero or Dick!
We started this podcast with a blunt question about people: Hero or Dick?
Then we found ourselves asking it about places, traditions, entertainment, and the ordinary stuff we’d never thought to question before. Who gets praised? What gets overlooked? Why are we so sure we know the story?
We pick something that interests us, do our homework, and sit down to talk. We bring facts, opinions, and stories from our own lives, and follow the occasional tangent.
Sometimes we reach a verdict. Sometimes the question gets more interesting.
If that sounds like a conversation you’d want to be part of, join us.
~ Kate & KJ
Drop us a line at hello@heroordick.com
Hero or Dick
Hero or Dick - S4. Ep 13 - Dogs
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Dogs are good company and a lot of work. We talk about the routines our dogs have trained us to follow, and why a walk with plenty of time to sniff can change their day. We get into how dogs came to live with us, what their senses can do, and the work they do for people.
We also have opinions: use a leash, don’t assume “he’s friendly” settles anything, and know the difference between a service dog and a comfort dog. There’s some dog culture, a few fast takes on gear and training, and, inevitably, barking.
Thanks!
~ Kate & KJ
hello@heroordick.com
Buzzing Cables And New Contact Info
SPEAKER_01I like it. Oh Sherlock Holmes.
SPEAKER_00Cassidy said I would like it looks like Sherlock Holmes.
SPEAKER_01It's definitely Sherlock Holmes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's what I'm going for.
SPEAKER_01Um, well, I'm here with Sherlock Holmes. Welcome to uh are we on? We're on. I'm just fucking with the cables here. We got this buzz people in the background.
SPEAKER_00It doesn't bother me.
SPEAKER_01It's driving me bonkers. God, I hate it so much. I mean, I'm gonna have to figure out how to hear it. I just I mean, I'm gonna have to figure out how to um take it out of the podcast with a little editing software. Because we're high tech now. We actually have a real email address.
SPEAKER_00Does Sprout do that?
SPEAKER_01No. Maybe if we were Jason Bateman. Oh, wait, he's got his own TV show or something serious. That's not TV.
SPEAKER_00No, it's not.
SPEAKER_01Um, no, we have a website now, heroordick.com.
SPEAKER_00Really?
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_00Wow, I'll have to check it out.
SPEAKER_01It goes right to the website. And we also have a real um email address called hello at heroordick.com.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yay. Yay. So that's it. So uh can I have a good day, everyone let me just say before I forget, our topic today is dogs. No, yeah, it is okay. But next topic is snacks, and we would love to hear your favorite snacks or your not so favorite snacks, or the snacks you liked as a child, or anything, any comments you have about snacks.
SPEAKER_01Look at me. I know there's no buzzing right now, but I'm holding the microphone knob with my hands.
SPEAKER_00So where can where to to give the comment about snacks? Hello at Hero or Dick.
SPEAKER_01Two oh, no, that's the old one. Hero or goddamn it.
SPEAKER_00So you can do one.
SPEAKER_01No, you can't use the old one anymore. It's hello at hero or dick.com.
SPEAKER_00Hello. So there we go.
SPEAKER_01I'm a little jacked, so I had too much coffee.
SPEAKER_00Well, that's why you're hearing the buzz. I don't hear it. No, really, I do hear it.
SPEAKER_01I know I hear it too. You know, um but anyway, we got snacks coming. Snacks are coming. I don't care what you think, I don't want to hear about it, but you can tell Kate. I'm kidding.
SPEAKER_00Actually, I love hearing about it. I do. I've already heard some snack inputs. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_01I could give a little bit. Oh no, a teaser, a snack too.
SPEAKER_00Okay, a teaser.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, a teaser is what's one of the prevailing snacks you're hearing about.
SPEAKER_00Um biscoff.
SPEAKER_01Come on, nobody is saying biscoff cookies.
SPEAKER_00Uh, I beg to differ. Are you serious? And you don't like those?
SPEAKER_01What are you just talking to people from Europe?
SPEAKER_00No, I'm talking to people who fly on planes and then discovered that you can buy biscoff at the Meyer store.
SPEAKER_01You can. We had to do that. Thank you, Jay, for your input. Uh Brooke. You know have you met Brooke?
SPEAKER_00Brooke. And then Jay's son, Brooksy. Brooksy and Brooke. He his name is Brooks. I like it. He's got an S on the end. Um, he like he is two, almost two, and he likes goldfish.
SPEAKER_01Does he?
SPEAKER_00Fishy.
SPEAKER_01The crackers or the real thing?
SPEAKER_00Probably both, but probably crackers mostly.
SPEAKER_01Have you ever had a gold fish?
SPEAKER_00So that's an update on snacks. That'll be next time.
SPEAKER_01Next time. When's next time? It doesn't matter to the public.
SPEAKER_00We don't know.
SPEAKER_01And you with your traveling schedule.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't know. We'll see. We'll talk about that in a couple weeks, so there'll be snacks.
Meet The Dogs And Dog Origins
SPEAKER_01Um, you know, I didn't have patience with my dogs today.
SPEAKER_00Why? They're the topics.
SPEAKER_01I know. I like what kind of dogs do you have? If I can see if I love them. I like them. I like my dogs. I love them. They're work. They are work. Because I get up and have to let them out. I have to beat them out.
SPEAKER_00He needs to go outside.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I get it. I gotta stop me a little bitch. They're good to me. They love me.
SPEAKER_00They make you go for a walk every day. That's good.
SPEAKER_01But their work.
SPEAKER_00And what kind? You have two dogs.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, one's a buggle.
SPEAKER_00I don't know what that is.
SPEAKER_01The beagle pug and American bulldog.
SPEAKER_00Okay, I gotta I I don't which one that one is.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you've seen that thing. And then the other one's uh Husky.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. Husky pearls. And what's the Husky's name?
SPEAKER_01Astro.
SPEAKER_00And what's the buggle's name?
SPEAKER_01Spindle.
SPEAKER_00Spindle.
SPEAKER_01Brooke put the names.
SPEAKER_00I like them.
SPEAKER_01We're all good with it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01She doesn't look like a side.
SPEAKER_00Do you call spindle spinny?
SPEAKER_01Spindy.
SPEAKER_00Spindy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Astro you can call asshole.
SPEAKER_00He'll still go to the yeah.
SPEAKER_01He's got that's a good thing. We can talk about their personalities, dogs. They're over 150 kinds of dogs, right?
SPEAKER_00Well, there's more than that.
SPEAKER_01I just say 150.
SPEAKER_00And then okay, there's more than 400 distinct modern breeds.
SPEAKER_01The nine-year-old podcast that I watched and listened to last night to learn about dogs. Well, they've added some. What do you got?
SPEAKER_00So, well, the oldest domesticated animal. They uh dogs are the oldest domesticated animal. Uh, you know, I I would argue cats might be, but anyway, they come from uh a wolf from 20 to 40 years ago.
SPEAKER_0120 to 40. 20 to 40 years. This is some long enough ago. But we'll take it. Thousand. Okay, thousand.
SPEAKER_0040,000. There's a K after that.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00Uh the plus plus oh, all right. We need to just start over. Plusino era placebo. Some era. I don't know. It was a long fucking time ago, man.
SPEAKER_01Dogs. Dogs. Thank you, everybody.
SPEAKER_00Less aggressive uh wolves would go up to humans.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00And then they were hunter-gatherer humans, and they'd go to campsites to scavenge food and scraps, and so they became friendly with the people, kind of hung out with them, became their pets.
SPEAKER_01Hmm. That's what happened.
SPEAKER_00I guess.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I got a Disney movie in my mind, and it's happening.
SPEAKER_01Through uh through the years, uh ages, centuries, what would you call it? Ages. Through the ages, uh, we've used dogs for lots of things, hurting animals, protection.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, trained for humans tolerated dogs, and then they trained them for protection, for tracking, drug sniffing, hunting, eventually drugs, finding lost people. Yeah. St. Bernard's, finding chemicals, finding cancer, finding cancer.
SPEAKER_01Therapy dogs, making you feel good.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Sometimes dogs don't make you feel good.
SPEAKER_01Some people eat dogs.
SPEAKER_00Really?
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Who doesn't?
SPEAKER_01They're trying to put some um, well, according to the Trump administration, I think it was in Ohio. It was not. Fucking dum-dums. But no, the um you know what?
SPEAKER_00Here is a fact that is going to explain everything. Trump has never had a dog or any kind of pet. He's never owned a pet.
SPEAKER_01You have to love something more than yourself, you know. Exactly.
SPEAKER_00I think that explains a lot about him. Why he's like he is.
SPEAKER_01We're not supposed to be political, Kate.
SPEAKER_00Why?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I'm getting fucking frustrated. So I'm starting to be political. But anyway.
SPEAKER_00Oh, but dogs also farming. They help in farms. Yeah. And and like you said, they they uh livestock.
SPEAKER_01But no, they uh over um Vietnamese country, I think it was. Oh yeah, probably eat dogs, but they've they don't have any other options, maybe. Well, but here's the thing we eat cows, we eat what what's so different about eating a dog?
SPEAKER_00In India, they don't eat cows, they're sick.
SPEAKER_01Maybe they eat something else. Yeah, so why do we put dogs on a pest pedestal?
SPEAKER_00Um, I don't know. Why?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. That's what I'm like. We can eat other animals, it's okay, but can't eat those dogs. No. I don't want to eat a dog.
SPEAKER_00I don't want to eat a dog either.
SPEAKER_01I don't even really like high dogs.
SPEAKER_00But I I would guess in some countries it's perfectly acceptable to eat a dog. I mean, we eat chickens.
SPEAKER_01I don't. That's disgusting, Kate.
SPEAKER_00I love that. If you haven't, folks, you should check out.
SPEAKER_01Man, I was thinking about that today.
SPEAKER_00There's nowhere to get into town.
SPEAKER_01KFC.
SPEAKER_00No. It's not real.
SPEAKER_01There's really nowhere to go.
SPEAKER_00No, there's not a good place. You gotta go south. I don't know. Although if you go to Cadillac, there's a tired of Popeyes? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I've never been to one.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I'm so I'm so sad for you.
SPEAKER_01Do you still like cooking?
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01I don't either.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01I'm supposed to cook again today.
SPEAKER_00Uh because Brooks working.
SPEAKER_01I cooked yesterday. You know, we had what? Dog. I'm kidding. No, we had uh turkey burgers and hamburgers. Turkeys.
SPEAKER_00You eat turkeys.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, poor turkeys.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Anyway, let's get back to the podcast. Okay, dogs. Yeah. But no, I was gonna say if people wanted to look back through our podcast episode at herodick.com, I think we did an episode of chickens.
SPEAKER_00We did did we do it? No, we've done we've done turkeys and we've done uh birds. But with the chicken day, we uh it
Dog Movies Books And Cartoons
SPEAKER_00was awesome, and we we gotta re did reschedule it, but we don't have Tessa was gonna be our Tessa, my niece who is 11. She was 10 at the time. Chicken expert. She is a chicken expert. She shows chickens at the fair. Um, and then Lori, what uh my other uh chicken girl whose chickens live better than you or I, they have this awesome clubhouse. It's so cool looking.
SPEAKER_01A chicken clubhouse.
SPEAKER_00A chicken clubhouse, yeah. And so she is a chicken expert, she's the chicken lady. Does she eat her chickens? No. I don't think she's a chicken.
SPEAKER_01Does she give do the egg thing?
SPEAKER_00She does, yeah, they eat eggs. They both eat eggs. I mean, does she think Cassie eats chicken? No, no, they just eat them.
SPEAKER_01But she has a lot of eggs.
SPEAKER_00Uh sometimes. I think it goes seasonal. Because my other friend who has chickens said, you know, in the uh it's seasonal, and I don't know when, but they produce more at different times of the year.
SPEAKER_01Gotcha. Do you happen to know how many puppies a dog can have?
SPEAKER_00A lot.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Like what they call that a litter. A litter. Wow.
SPEAKER_00How many? What's the most anybody had?
SPEAKER_01406.
SPEAKER_00No. That'd be one pregnant.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I don't know. What do you think? The average by six, seven?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, at least. At least.
SPEAKER_01Have you had a dog that had puppies?
SPEAKER_00Um, let's see. We've had dogs. Did we ever have a dog that had puppies? No, I don't think so.
SPEAKER_01Me either. Gross. Feeling missing out.
SPEAKER_00Well, get a pregnant dog.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_00Or get a dog pregnant. Oh.
SPEAKER_01Those college days are long gone, Kate. I never did get into that fraternity.
SPEAKER_00Son of a bitch.
SPEAKER_01Anyway.
SPEAKER_00So let's see. What's the most puppies a dog ever had in one litter?
SPEAKER_01She's using AI right now, folks.
SPEAKER_0024. I would have thought it was more than that. But that's still a lot.
SPEAKER_01That's a lot of puppies. What kind of dog was it? A mastiff. That's a big dog. That's a big dog. What's the biggest dog? Great Dane, or is it a mastiff?
SPEAKER_00Uh I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Great Danes get up to 30 inches tall and up to 200 pounds.
SPEAKER_00They're very large.
SPEAKER_01Marmaduke.
SPEAKER_00Is Marmaduke a great dane?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah, he is. Yeah. Lots of cartoons about dogs.
SPEAKER_01Oh, we got lots that we could talk about.
SPEAKER_00Snoopy. Oh, yeah. Snoopy.
SPEAKER_01He writes novels.
SPEAKER_00He does.
SPEAKER_01I like Snoopy.
SPEAKER_00He's the typewriter. I like when he's scrunching the bowl. He dances. And he dances.
SPEAKER_01Ah, son of a person.
SPEAKER_00Okay, Snoopy. We should have just done on Snoopy. He's obviously a hero.
SPEAKER_01Underdog?
SPEAKER_00Underdog. Oh, I loved that cartoon.
SPEAKER_01Scooby-Doo.
SPEAKER_00Scooby-Scooby-Doo.
SPEAKER_01He's always afraid, but sit still can solve mysteries by accident.
SPEAKER_00Because he's gonna get a snack at the end.
SPEAKER_01What are the dogs? Lassie.
SPEAKER_00Lassie. She was big. Brintin Tin, I think, was a big one.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Old Yeller.
SPEAKER_00Old Yeller. Come back, yeller. God, that's a that is a that is a sad, sad story.
SPEAKER_01There's other ones too, Kate.
SPEAKER_00There is. Turner and who Marley. Marley and me.
SPEAKER_01But I know you wanted to talk about puppy mills.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I don't want to talk about puppy mills. Let's go back to like you back on. Get you. We'll talk about that in a minute. Let me get it. How about Benji? Did you watch that when you were a little kid? Yes. Yeah, Cassidy liked that one.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Benji, Beethoven. All dogs go to heaven.
SPEAKER_01Do they though?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they do.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00I think that's a Twilight Zone. Because the guy's trying to get into heaven. They're like, oh no, you can't bring your dog in here. And he says, I don't want to go to a heaven where there isn't any dogs. Twilight Zone? Only it took a half hour for, you know, it was a half hour show, but that's basically what happened. Pluto. Yeah. There's a brand new movie out with Brad Pitt. It's called Heart of the Beast. And it's about Brad Pitt and his dog. I think he's like a comfort dog or uh, you know, uh what's the other one? Come for service dog. And um they are in a plane crash in Alaska and they have to survive.
SPEAKER_01I hope he doesn't pull a Jack London story.
SPEAKER_00Well, he's not gonna, I hope he doesn't eat the dog.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's him.
SPEAKER_00Is that what they do in Jack London?
SPEAKER_01Don't they gut him in this? I don't know. I guess I don't remember those.
SPEAKER_00His hands to the hand to warm them. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But anyhow, um yeah, the Call of the Wild, wasn't that it?
SPEAKER_00Call of the Wild, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I don't even know anymore. I don't know. Clifford.
SPEAKER_00Clifford, the big red dog. I love him.
SPEAKER_01Pluto.
SPEAKER_00You know, here's another movie that is so, so funny about dogs, best in show.
SPEAKER_01Holy shoot, that is a good one.
SPEAKER_00That's a really funny movie about a dog show. The dog show alone. Oh my god, I loved watching the dog show.
SPEAKER_01It's got some great actors in that too. I don't remember.
SPEAKER_00Everybody in it is fabulous, Catherine O'Hara.
SPEAKER_01Oh, she's dead, isn't she?
SPEAKER_00She's dead.
SPEAKER_01Did we do her?
SPEAKER_00Oh, I think we gave her a shout out, but um, no, she's a hero. There's no question.
SPEAKER_01Okay, we're not gonna do that one then.
SPEAKER_00I mean, we can talk about her, but um books, real quick. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Call the Wild, where the Red Fern Grows.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01Old Yeller. Because of Win Dixie.
SPEAKER_00That's a great book.
SPEAKER_01Marley and Me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I just wrote down movies. I didn't write down.
SPEAKER_01What are your movies? You got more?
SPEAKER_00No. Uh Marley and Me, Best and Show turned. Oh, 101 Dalmatians. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, they don't get their spots. They're born white. They don't get their spots until a month later.
SPEAKER_00I wonder why.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. But also, I learned that, and I probably should have known this for all the dog people out there and be like, you're such a moron. Um, my am kind of dumb. Um, Kate's nodding her head.
SPEAKER_00No arguments here.
SPEAKER_01Um, they're blind, deaf, and have no teeth when they're born.
SPEAKER_00I didn't know the teeth part.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, now you know.
SPEAKER_00Really?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Take that back to your mansion with the sandy floors.
SPEAKER_00That was awful.
SPEAKER_01Inside joke.
SPEAKER_00Uh one more, one more movie. Wait, you forgot. Was it a boss, man? Oh, yeah. That dog is pretty important. Toto. I mean, it's the whole reason she gets knocked out.
SPEAKER_01What's her name? Elmira Gulch. The Witch. The Witch.
SPEAKER_00How about Lady and the Tramp, though? That's a great movie. One of my favorites.
SPEAKER_01You're good at this.
SPEAKER_00Oh shit.
SPEAKER_01What about that other guy?
SPEAKER_00What other guy?
unknownCome on.
SPEAKER_01Coyote and oh, he's not a dog. He's a dog. Coyote and Roadrunner.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah. He's a dog for him. Yeah, coyote. I always feel kind of bad for him. Deputy dog. Is that the Droopy Dog? Droopy Dog.
SPEAKER_01What about Smedley or Smedley or Smedley?
SPEAKER_00He's a he's got that lamp. You watched a lot of cartoons. But those are rerun cartoons because I was watching them as reruns when I was oh, they were fabulous. What are we doing? Not Schmedley. Is it Smedley?
Dog Senses Weird Facts And Barking
SPEAKER_01Schmedley. Through the lamb.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. That's exactly how he does it. Did you know that dogs have unique nose prints?
SPEAKER_01No. Tell me about it.
SPEAKER_00It's like a fingerprint, only a nose. All right. And they really sweat through their paws or pant. Here's one I read that I wasn't sure of. And I don't know. I guess I'll have to look next time I'm near a dog. It says they have uh more than one eyelid.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they got one on each eye.
SPEAKER_00No, like two on each eye.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay. I don't know that that's gonna pay close attention tonight.
SPEAKER_00Um, and dogs don't have collarbones, their front shoulders attached with muscle and tissue.
SPEAKER_01That makes sense.
SPEAKER_00That helps them run fast, too.
SPEAKER_01And they can move that thing around.
SPEAKER_00And man, they can run. You know, like you're picturing a dog when a dog gets out and just takes off running. Like somebody's chasing it to get back in house. Yeah, and they just greyhound run. Mm-hmm. Your dog is as smart as a two-year-old. Depends on the dog and depends on the two-year-old. Because I say some dogs are smarter than some a two-year-old.
SPEAKER_01I think so, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Same. I mean, goes both ways. Dogs can be trained to detect cancer and other diseases, which we touched upon. If your dog has separation anxiety, leave some clothing that you have worn because the familiar scent will calm them. I like that. I I do too. I hope that's true. Oh, hey, hey, here's a fact all puppies are born deaf. I guess I heard that somewhere. As they get older, they can hear four times better than humans, so.
SPEAKER_01Huh?
SPEAKER_00Four times better than that.
SPEAKER_01You never see a dog with hearing aids.
SPEAKER_00No, you don't. And you know, like on Lady in the Tramp when they're doing the bark brigade, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark. Long distance, they can hear them. Oh, I hear him barking. Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.
SPEAKER_01Um Trump's never had a pet.
SPEAKER_00Didn't you?
SPEAKER_01Never had card. And that in experiments, I'm reading this direct from my notes, so don't think that I'm coming up with this on my own. In experiments, train dogs distinguish breath and sweet. Fuck me running. In experiments, train dogs just God damn it. Kate, I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm done with the bottom. You know why?
SPEAKER_00Because you're swearing too much.
SPEAKER_01I am. I apologize, mom. In experiments, train your mother's list. Distinguish breath and sweat samples collected from people before and after stressful tasks. They can tell the difference. You know, if you're stressed or not.
SPEAKER_00How do we know?
SPEAKER_01Well, I'm telling you, there's an experiment right here.
SPEAKER_00Well, yeah, what's the experiment? And then they go, Okay, uh, boomer.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Cassidy's one dog is not boomer. Okay, boomer, let me know if you smell that. Yeah, my stressful. And he'll go, okay.
SPEAKER_01But boomer's like, uh, she's not, I can tell she's stressed because she's smacking me.
SPEAKER_00I'm just I would never boomer.
SPEAKER_01No, I would never do that. Have you ever seen? I'm sorry, I'm in all those jumping around moods that drive you crazy. Um, is it Anchorman when Jack Black kicks Baxter off the bridge? He kicks Jack Anchorman's dog off the bridge. Is that Ron Burgundy's dog? It's so funny. I wanted to do that the other day to the neighbor's dog. I mean, would you let your dog out and just let it bark for 20 minutes straight in the backyard?
SPEAKER_00What time of day is this?
SPEAKER_016 a.m.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01Name another time during the day.
SPEAKER_00Uh anytime after like eight, nine.
SPEAKER_01He's out.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And he's out. Like every time. It's like the other day I yelled across the shut your fucking dog up. I have dogs, they're outside barking.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and the dogs bark. I mean, that's what they do. That's the dog's fault. But no, uh I I agree with that. And we have um, where we are, there's a rental down the beach, and you know, sometimes water carries that sound no matter what.
SPEAKER_01Mama, yeah, you're gonna get it.
SPEAKER_00Well, there was a dog at 6 a.m. Bark at eight, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, and we actually went outside and yelled, shut your fucking dog up. Yeah, and they took it inside. Good.
unknownGood.
SPEAKER_00So they heard us across the across the lake, too. Six a.m. I don't need to hear that. Well, and then you know what? If it was eight or nine, I would go, oh, dog bark on it. Probably wouldn't even hurt. I wouldn't hear it's every No, I would have had the TV on by then.
SPEAKER_01But I feel like our neighbors have two younger kids, like little kids. And I'm like, ah, they what they're probably wake getting woken up by that goddamn dog. Anyhow, um, if you could borrow one canine cents for the day, what would you choose? The nose or the ears?
SPEAKER_00Oh, well, we know that they can hear very well. But man, they can smell really well too. But you know, then you look at what they're sniffing. Pee. Other dogs' butts. Well, get the dog. But I would use their sense of smell.
SPEAKER_01Okay. For a dog, a walk, even on the same route, it's a changing record of who passed by, what they left, and how recently. The nose samples, orders, and rapid sniffs, airflow even helps pull new order toward it while the dog breathes out. It's pretty amazing.
SPEAKER_00So your dogs, when you're walking them, you think about that. They're snapping and sniffing. We actually and they're like, Oh, I remember this from yesterday. Oh, this is new from yesterday.
SPEAKER_01It's always new. It's amazing. You know, you let them out in the morning, it's the same patch of yard, but they sniff like they've never been there before.
SPEAKER_00Well, maybe because there's so many different scents or familiar scents.
SPEAKER_01We're typically turbo walkers. We like to walk fast, but the dogs and so like if there's never come on, let's get fucking going here. We don't have all day. But now we're like, we Brooke read something that said the stimulation that a dog gets from sniffing on the walk, even if they're standing still, is like equivalent to activity. And so, you know, you can shorten your walk, just let them sniff a little longer. That's probably not true, any of it.
SPEAKER_00All right. People we should probably do a you better do a uh well disclaimer before all of our podcasts that nothing is true.
SPEAKER_01It is this long.
SPEAKER_00You know what is true though, don't give your dog chocolate. They can't metabolize something that's in it.
SPEAKER_01What happens?
SPEAKER_00Uh I think they die. Because my dog did he eat some chocolate?
SPEAKER_01This past weekend ate only one caramel MM.
SPEAKER_00Oh, it's fine.
SPEAKER_01Okay. And she ate five French fries yesterday.
SPEAKER_00Dogs have eaten worse than that.
SPEAKER_01She has. I've seen her eat a slim gym. Half in a wrapper.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh. In the wrapper. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Uh off the sidewalk. We couldn't stop her in time. And then the wrapper came up later.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01She's it doesn't digest. She used to love cigarette butts when she was a puppy.
SPEAKER_00Who doesn't?
SPEAKER_01When she was walking, she'd eat them and worms. She'd eat sidewalk worms.
SPEAKER_00Oh, worms. That's diet.
SPEAKER_01Worms and side butts worms and cigarette butts. That was her diet
Dog Names Breeds And Bad Habits
SPEAKER_01for a while.
SPEAKER_00Is she a barfly?
SPEAKER_01No, well, she could be.
SPEAKER_00But if you think of all the weird things a dog ate, one time we were at a family reunion that was uh a cooler, and it the the dog flipped it open and ate all the pies. All the pies. Are you serious? Not just a pie, like four pies. Oh my god. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Dogs are nasty too.
SPEAKER_00Well, they they eat what they can get. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01They'll eat the they'll clean the litter box for you, the cat litter box.
SPEAKER_00They like to eat poo.
SPEAKER_01They'll they'll rifle through the bathroom trash.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah. Uh-huh. There's lots of gross stuff in there. They shed. Cassidy caught Hazel. Uh she was up on the counter. She's a tall box. How many dogs she has? She has three dogs.
SPEAKER_01Get the fuck out of here.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So Hazel is a labard doodle. So she's pretty tall. Then she got Alfie. Then she got Alfie, who's a cocker spaniel. Okay. He's just a mini little guy. And then she uh also adopted Boomer, who is an Irish doodle. Irish setter.
SPEAKER_01Does he have an accent?
SPEAKER_00He I don't know. He does bark. I'll have to pay attention. He's very tall. He's very tall and handsome. And very well behaved.
SPEAKER_01That's impressive. Sometimes dogs aren't.
SPEAKER_00Well, the other two aren't. Well, Alfie, I wouldn't say is not. He's just you know, we say he's not bright, but he gets everything he wants, so maybe he is. And uh she named Hazel and Alfie, but Boomer came with his name. So she didn't get to name them. You know what my favorite dog name is? Wait. My niece has a dog. You'll never guess it. Wait. Noodles. It's just a little. No, those are both good ones. Okay, got it. It's just a small dog. I don't know exactly what kind it is, but she calls her Patsy Klein.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's pretty good.
SPEAKER_00Patsy.
SPEAKER_01Patsy.
SPEAKER_00Patsy Klein.
SPEAKER_01Did you have how many dogs have you had in your life?
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_01You don't even care.
SPEAKER_00We haven't had one. We uh in my adulthood, I haven't had one in a long time.
SPEAKER_01Remember one from your childhood at all?
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, we always had uh dogs. We had um, well, probably the most interesting dog we had was when I lived in Puerto Rico, we got a dog off the beach. There was beach dogs, we took one home, and we had brought it to Michigan when we moved here. Yeah, Capasa. That was his name.
SPEAKER_01So what was it? A mutt?
SPEAKER_00It was just a mutt.
SPEAKER_01Those are the best.
SPEAKER_00He was a good dog, but then he kind of turned mean. He had some kids through racks at him. Shame on you, kids. Kids are terrible. Oh, I hate them.
SPEAKER_01Dogs are smarter than kids.
SPEAKER_00Oh, please. Um, I do know a landlord who said, I'd rather have people with pets than kids. Sure. I believe it. So here's the top 10 dog names. Patsy Klein's not on there. Let me sorry. I know, isn't that funny? Um, Bella.
SPEAKER_01Bella the dog named Bella.
SPEAKER_00Bella? Bella. Oh shit. Bella the dog. Luna, Max, Charlie, Daisy, Lucy, Cooper, Bailey, Buddy, Sadie. That's those are like the top.
SPEAKER_01Rusty's not on there. Snoopy.
SPEAKER_00Snoopy. No, but I bet Snoopy's up there. I bet it was in there in the 60s and 70s. And there was also what was always the dog name? Uh oh come on. Everybody had a dog. It was named Chowder. Not Buddy, but Rover. Rover. Rover.
SPEAKER_01Hey, was Rover a real dog?
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Like not real, but like a TV dog or something. There's that song.
SPEAKER_00What song?
SPEAKER_01Red Rover, Red Rover. Send Kate right over.
SPEAKER_00That's not a song. That's a game.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00That's a child game. Do you know what the top breeds are? Yes. Right now.
SPEAKER_01Right now?
SPEAKER_00Right now. It must be a golden doodle. No, probably doodles, but um I give up. I did you do you have a list?
SPEAKER_01No. I don't do anything.
SPEAKER_00The top one is French Bulldog.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's kind of a fad.
SPEAKER_00Is it a fad?
SPEAKER_01I think you buy a camper and then you get a French Bulldog and then you go to Hef State Park. Oh. Maybe.
SPEAKER_00And you all meet. Everyone meets there. And then uh that one just surprised me. Then you have a la uh Labrador Retriever, Golden Retriever, German Shepherd, Dash Hound. Did you ever have a Dash Hound?
SPEAKER_01A Dachshund? Yeah. A Dash Hound? Dash Hound. We had another one. She was a little bitch. Not kidding you. She was mean.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Snippy. They got little dog. Oh, they got little dog syndrome.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and she wasn't take I think she had some, it wasn't all her fault. It was how she was treated when she was a poppy. Not by us. We got her used. We got a used dog. I felt bad for her, but she was rough.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Sometimes dogs are mean because of their upbringing. I mean, you look at pit bulls who uh like people, yes, pit bulls, a lot of them were uh originally bred to fight. Sure. Uh Cassidy had a dog who it was rough because she this dog belonged to a couple for years, and then the couple couldn't take care of this dog. And it wasn't an old dog, but it wasn't young either. They spoke Polish.
SPEAKER_01The dog did.
SPEAKER_00So the dog spoke Polish.
SPEAKER_01That's awesome.
SPEAKER_00So you could talk to it all day long. You want a treat, you want a snack?
SPEAKER_01It's like, no, I want some kluski.
SPEAKER_00You know. It's like a noise. Oh, I'll espaniol, but that's not what he was. I don't know how to say it in Polish. So that was hard, yeah. Uh after the Dachshund or Dash Hound, which I like better. Uh poodle, beagle, rottweiler. My neighbors have some rottweilers. They're cute. Uh German short hair pointer. That seemed pretty damn specific. So I don't believe that one. And a bulldog. Bulldog. Bulldog. Hey, bulldog. Oh, how about Balto? That was another one. I'm just looking at my notes.
SPEAKER_01You know the uh movie. I remember that. I didn't watch it. Snow Dogs. My dogs like that movie.
SPEAKER_00Do dogs watch TV?
SPEAKER_01Sometimes.
SPEAKER_00Do they? Do they have a favorite show?
SPEAKER_01Seinfeld, but I think that's just because I watch all those. Um, the going back to the bulldog thing, uh, that spindle one we have, the buggle that has the English bulldog in it. Uh-huh. When she was a little more lively and she would, we first got Astro, um, she would try to wrestle or fight with him, and she would do the old like they were trained to go underneath like a bowl and grab it by the legs and then try to flip it. She would do that move on him. It was impressive.
SPEAKER_00Wow. She's like a wrestle dog.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but she she's such a lover. She gets rolled all the time. When we go for walks, like she'll get attacked by the you know how many times we get like jacked by the dogs? Really? Probably three or four times a summer. Someone's dog will come after us. It's bullshit.
SPEAKER_00That's another thing that pisses me off.
SPEAKER_01Keep your goddamn dogs on a leash, or in a fence, or in a yard. I mean, once in a while they're gonna get out, but it's when people are out with their dog in their yard, like he never did that before.
Leashes Service Dogs And Real Heroes
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's the first time.
SPEAKER_00And that's not the dog's fault, it's the owner's fault. Hero or dick, people, dick, dicks, total dick.
SPEAKER_01Sorry.
SPEAKER_00So here are some other dogs that saved lives. Of course, you got the cancer sniffing dogs, you got the St. Um Bernard's in the Alps. Um, Togo, Toga and Balto in 1925 delivered diphtheria medicine to Gnome Alaska because no other people could get there. It was so remote, and there was they needed some. Is that what the movie was about? Yeah, I think so. I don't know. I didn't watch it. It was on a few times at our house when Jonah was younger, but I didn't watch it. And then you have uh Smokey during World War II. This little Yorkshire named Smokey pulled communication cable through a pipe to connect um people during the war. That's because she was small, she could do it. And then uh Rosal, the yellow lab, I like that name, who guided her blind owner down 1463 steps to safety out of the collapsing World Trade Center on 9-11. It's probably a fable, but I'm gonna say it's true. We're taking it. Yeah. Then you have service dogs versus comfort dogs. And I think people take comfort dogs to a new level, and I'm not always nuts about that, but I get it why you need it.
SPEAKER_01I'm getting tired of seeing people with dogs in their carts at Walmart when they're just it's like you're just easier to bring your dog in.
SPEAKER_00And some places are dog friendly, and that's cool. But again, sometimes what about people with dog allergies?
SPEAKER_01Or I'm so I don't care that your dog can be the best, most well-behaved dog in the world, but in the right situation, it's not. It's not it's gonna bite a kid, it's gonna do something, and then then I have our uh neighbors' kids have a um oh it's a huge dog.
SPEAKER_00What is it? A basset hound. No, is it a basset hound?
SPEAKER_01Those are long and short.
SPEAKER_00It's uh something hound that can wolf hound? I don't know, but he's huge. They're big, he's like 300 pounds. What? And so it was in a cage uh in a crate, an elk hound. And when Norwegian, I don't know what it is, but it is a big sniffer, and it's a sniffer, and he didn't like the scent to me. And he, I'm like, oh hey, buddy, not getting close or anything, because I don't know this dog and I know better than to just go in its face. And he was caged. I mean, so he was, but he lunged at me, he was gonna eat my face.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's scary.
SPEAKER_00It was really scary because I never really had a dog do that to me before. I mean, I've never, like I said, I've never gotten down in the face of a new dog. You always let him sniff you out and everything. Well, he did sniff me out. He didn't like what he sniffed.
SPEAKER_01That's impossible, Kate. Come on. Uh well, and then like when we are I'm talking about going on the walks again, but when we go on walks, we'll see people and they're like, oh, and they'll come up and they'll want to pet the dog. And I'm just like, I'm like, not friendly, even though they'll be friends. I'm just like not friendly because I don't want to no, God forbid something happens.
SPEAKER_00What if they do? Yeah, not friendly. Yeah, what if they grab its ear or whatever? Stay away. Yeah. No. And people, when you see a dog, you don't need to pet every dog. No. I know you want to sometimes. You know, if eight puppies come running at you, you can pet them.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's probably a little safer.
SPEAKER_00Um and what were you gonna say about puppy mills? Do we have to talk about it?
SPEAKER_01No, that's terrible. Okay. Talk about how the Soviets sent a stray dog up and it orbited to Earth and it was a hero, but it died.
SPEAKER_00But the dog. Well, because of old age?
SPEAKER_01Because it was up there so long.
SPEAKER_00Oh, it died in the air? Yeah. In the oh. Well, how long was it up there?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. Long enough to go around the earth.
SPEAKER_00Well, that's it was a stray, maybe there's something wrong with it.
SPEAKER_01But here we are thinking we can just throw anything up there.
SPEAKER_00Didn't we send monkeys up there too?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Why would we do that?
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_01We test everything on animals.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, karma, man. That's coming back.
SPEAKER_01It's gonna be any day now.
SPEAKER_00Any time now.
SPEAKER_01Please. No, I'm kidding.
SPEAKER_00No, jeez, no. All right. So anything else to add about dogs? I like dogs. I do too. I think they're heroes. They, you know, yeah, you get some dogs doing being dicks, but it's not really their fault.
SPEAKER_01Nope. Just like kids.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Adults. Yep.
SPEAKER_00No, adults, it's their fault.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it is their fault.
SPEAKER_00Usually. I don't know. You're not gonna get any dogs. I uh I would get a dog. I am in love with Cassidy's dog, Hazel. Hey Hazel. Sometimes Cassidy listens to the podcast, and Hazel can hear my voice. And she's like, Where is that lady who gives me treats? I like her, and that's why I like Hazel, because she likes me no matter what.
SPEAKER_01Not like that other dog.
SPEAKER_00She doesn't care what I spelled. No. Definitely heroes, though. Yeah, they are. We puppies alone. Come on. Even an ugly dog is a cute puppy. That's actually sure. That's true.
SPEAKER_01Well, and the thing is, dogs are so pets in general, but dogs, I mean, I like cats too. We got cats, we got dogs, we had ferrets. But the thing is, like, they are you're all they have their whole life, basically. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, that's it. And so I gotta remember that when I go home and I'm like, oh what?
SPEAKER_00Uh gotta take care of my butt and plus they will love you no matter what kind of crap ass day you had. Everybody can kick you to the curb, and you go home, the dog is like, Oh my god, I fucking love you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they act like they've never seen you before.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I didn't think you were coming back.
SPEAKER_01I was gone on a tour and like, no, it's been like an hour, dude.
SPEAKER_00I bet when you go home right now, you're gonna be.
SPEAKER_01Astro is nuts. Oh my god. He's laying in the mud. He does. He waits in the mudroom for me, lays there by the door until I get home. It's a sickness. But uh the sad thing is when they you gotta put them down.
SPEAKER_00Well, with every good time,
Fast Fives Crates Toys And Goodbye
SPEAKER_00there it's devastating. Yeah, it's bad. Well, they're a part of the family, and you know, cried more. At least you get that choice, though, with a human. You don't.
SPEAKER_01I know there's some I'd like to put down.
SPEAKER_00There's well, I mean, there's there are actually people who need to be put down, not because of anything other, let's just say just for health reasons. It's time to go, and and their body won't give up, but they're ready to go. I'd say that Michigan is that with a dog, but you can't do it with the human.
SPEAKER_01Michigan's revisiting that.
SPEAKER_00Because of Jet Carvorkian?
SPEAKER_01No. Well, yeah, it's something like that, but yeah, um assisted assisted, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I think it's legal in Washington or Oregon. Okay, so that got really deep. Think about puppies, everybody. Puppies, puppies, puppies.
SPEAKER_01Or the poor dog dying up in space all by itself.
SPEAKER_00Oh, no, you just wait to harsh my buzz.
SPEAKER_01Well, that gives you a perspective on humanity.
SPEAKER_00Okay, let me give you uh uh some dog fast fives. Fast fives. All right, shot collars on dogs.
SPEAKER_01Dick. Dick.
SPEAKER_00They work though, but yeah, they they're they're tender dicks.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_00Okay, how about uh dog beds?
SPEAKER_01Beds?
SPEAKER_00Beds. Oh, hero, they're great. I mean, they're so many different ones.
SPEAKER_01You can get cool ones, you can get cooling pad ones. Oh, yeah, you can get a dog sleeping on the poor floor, or God forbid outside.
SPEAKER_00Do your dogs sleep on bed with you?
SPEAKER_01No, we do. People are gonna hate this, but our dogs we put them in their kennel at night. They actually go in their kennel.
SPEAKER_00They like it.
SPEAKER_01The middle of the day, they'll go into their kennel. Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_00It's their space.
SPEAKER_01They got nice big cushioned beds in there.
SPEAKER_00I saw your televisions. Your kennels. Do you call it okay? My next one is cage crate. Do you call it a crate? I just call it kennel. I don't know. Kennel. I've seen your kennels. They're very nice. They're fancy. It looks like a furniture. It does. It does, and that makes it okay.
SPEAKER_01That's how you're going to be able to do that.
SPEAKER_00But I do think that um being nice to dogs. No, I don't think that's mean though, because I think that that that's their space. It's kind of like they go to their room.
SPEAKER_01And sometimes in the morning, when I open it, they're like, I'm good for now. I don't really want to come out.
SPEAKER_00I know that Cassidy crates hers when she goes to work, and in the days she's off, they're like, and we go upstairs and take a nap in the crates because we're pretty tired. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you don't have the dog sleep with you. Do you let them on the furniture?
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah. And at the cottage, though, it's free rain. They sleep wherever when I set the cottage.
SPEAKER_00So they're probably like, Yeah, we're going to the cottage.
SPEAKER_01They sleep in the bed with me. One of them does.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Uh number five of the fast fives is how about treat dispensers or and or mazes? Do your dogs have the mazes?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, the like the little puzzles.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I think that's cool.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. It's neat.
SPEAKER_00And then are they good with it?
SPEAKER_01Well, they memorize it in about two tries. Uh but if you put the well, they have puzzle dishes.
SPEAKER_00So you put it in a different place every time.
SPEAKER_01Well, there's a couple things. We have the the puzzle dishes so that it would slow down the eating, but then they just go through it so fast anyway, it doesn't matter. And then we have this like a big board with these sliding tiles. Yep, yep. They're like that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You put them in different places, yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know what? No. We you here's the next time a two-year-old comes to your house, put the dog street in one and put the two-year-old street in the other. So you can get sick quicker.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's definitely gonna be the dog.
SPEAKER_00Okay. I think so. All right. So dogs are heroes. Dogs are food. But be and before we say goodbye, don't forget our new um email is I've already forgotten. Hello at Kate's writing it down.
SPEAKER_01I'm not kidding you right now. Hello at heroordick.com.
SPEAKER_00And let us know about snacks.
SPEAKER_01Snacks.
SPEAKER_00We know you have opinions.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01Um check out the website. It's just basically the podcast. Yeah. Thanks, Kate. Jesus Christ. Uh um, anyway, thanks for your patience with my mood today, folks. My cussing. I really don't care what people think, but I gotta say that stuff. And um, we appreciate everybody supporting us because we we have followers everywhere now.
SPEAKER_00Look at them right to the end of a notebook, too. It's a new era.
SPEAKER_01Was that your grocery list?
SPEAKER_00No. Well, it could be because it's snacks.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. All right, I'm gonna let everybody go.
SPEAKER_00Okay, see you next time with snacks. Bye.
People on this episode
Podcasts we love
Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.
SmartLess
Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett
Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast
Team Coco & Earwolf
